failure to decide

my latest happening...

i have simply been unable to decide on my future.....................................

yeah, i'm seriously lost, i thought i had things figured out some time ago but the problem is i constantly change my mind... first, my target was to do Food Science and Technology at Monash, hence i wanted to do the monash university foundation year (MUFY) at Sunway... this was my plan for a long time, it felt right before i went for NS...

but after coming back, i have talked to a lot of different people, which in one way or another influenced my way of thinking. so here r some of my never before told thoughts....

in my opinion, doing food science is something that is steady, or should i say playing it safe, it's like the typical successful career n a good salary in my opinion...n to do it at Monash it's great i think, it's such a prestigious degree to obtain...but sometimes i think that Science is heavy and boring sometimes... and there is this other side of me that wants to do something i enjoy more but may not necessarily be a lucrative career...

this brings me back to the age old debate of whether a hobby or interest can really be a career option... they r things that we enjoy, for example dining and music.. but these things may not always be suitable to pursue as a job... after all, a job is something we do to earn a living... does this make sense to u? in short, i just feel that there has to be a balance, becoz we DO have to enjoy what we do on a daily basis to be happy, but then again interest is something that can be built over time, so i guess it's ok to study something that u dun reli enjoy NOW but will guarantee a very good career in the future becoz in time u will learn to accept it..

but INTEREST is just a portion or factor that is influencing my choice making. they r many other factors, LOCATION is one of them. i don't intend to go overseas or stay in a hostel, so my options have been limited....

but really the thing that bugs me most is the fact that i just can't settle with a course... from food science, i wanted to move to language studies, English in particular, and then i shifted to wilder things like Mass Comm.... haih, maybe i just need a little more time...

but then again, time is something that i have a plenty, too much in fact.... sometimes i wish i had less time or some kind of pressure, so that i will quickly choose....

sometimes i wish my parents would just point a gun at me and force me to study something of their choice...

ok, maybe that is a little too dramatic, i'm not as crazy and empty headed as u think... dun worry this is just a small matter i guess... nothing life threatening here... n definitely NO suicidal thoughts...hahahahahaha... =P

i know, i know, i'm a total @$$....