Alone

Been a week.
WARNING: This is one of those long posts filled with rambles.


Family out shopping, didn't join coz too tired. Plus there's replacement class tomorrow. Yes, on a SATURDAY.

Right now I'm alone at home and it's quiet. Usually I embrace the peacefulness of being on my own, it's a time where the mind is clear. But sometimes (like now) it can be scary too. Not that I'm afraid of being alone, but when I start thinking about certain stuff it gets all gloomy.

For instance, I do not know how I will survive the coming week. There is a major Bio essay due next Friday and I have not started. Just thinking about the work load terrifies me. For the past few weeks I have been complaining about stress and fatigue, but now it's just FEAR.

Been struggling with assignments mostly becoz I'm always in doubt. Uni work is different. There is no such thing as spoon feeding, all answers have to searched on your own. So I feel unsure of what to write, whether it's correct or absolute rubbish . When I approach lecturers they will usually reply with a "What do you think?" or "I cannot tell you the answer". How am I supposed to produce quality work if I can't even get confirmation of whether I'm on the right track or not...

I know we are encouraged to solve problems through critical thinking and research, but giving more guidance wouldn't hurt right? Sometimes telling students the answers may not be a bad thing if it helps us understand the knowledge or concept better, rather than leaving us confused and we end up submitting low standard, ridiculously crafted work. Making students work their butts off to earn marks may just have backfired, becoz the frustration of being unable to meet standards cause us to throw in the towel. This is what's happening to me. Most of the time, I end up saying "To the hell with it, just write whatever lah!".

I believe life isn't about studies and work. Being in the moment and truly enjoying life is more important, whatever "enjoying life" means to each of us. I want to enjoy life, but with this crazy work load it's just not possible.


Enough of talking about work, it only makes me more miserable.

Went to watch The Proposal today to relax a bit. Nice, had some really funny moments. I mentioned in fb and twitter that I watched Orphan recently. This is quite a good horror movie. No supernatural element but still thrilling. The best part is Esther's secret which is only revealed at the end of the show. Hehehe go watch it to find out, I guarantee it will surprise you! Hey and I heard Up is worth watching too, had good reviews... Anyone?

Oh I bought a book today. Some of you know I really don't like reading books coz I lack the patience to sit and stare at words for long durations. Not to mention getting stiff neck. But today I found a book at Borders that I actually want to read. It's called "Winning Ugly" by Brad Gilbert & Steve Jamison. It's about the mental aspect of tennis and how to be a better match player. But it's not written like typical guide books that I have seen. This is more like the author (former player and currently a coach) telling a story and sharing his experiences in a witty, entertaining and slightly humorous manner. It's more like reading a novel than a manual.

Alright it's time to go, till next time. Hope I can finish my work.