Why so serious?

OK, this is not a serious post, but i'm talking about a relatively serious topic.

Been thinking about some stuff lately.
I've a lot of time to think, coz when ur sick, u have an excuse to NOT do any work or assignment. Haven't done anything productive in 2 days. Just sitting around waiting for time to fly.

Anyway, I was thinking about my studies coz i just had a Maths test yesterday. Everytime there's a test I always want to do well, so I work hard.
This got me thinking why I bother to do so... I mean why do I care so much about results? Some ppl are content with getting a passing grade, but why not me?

It's quite certain that I can fulfill the requirement to get into Monash. And if you have been reading my blog, u would know that I have already established that it's almost impossible for me to get the entrance scholarship....... So high distinctions will get me in, BUT credits are sufficient to get me in as well.
So are we on the same page? U guys get what I'm trying to say? If u don't it's ok coz I'm kinda psychotic anyway lol...

But it's so strange if I don't try my best rite? Most ppl from MUFY will probably never understand me, but u guys from CHS know what I mean rite?

I think ALL of this can be related back to the days I spent in Catholic. I think CHS made me into what I am today. I mean no disrespect, I still think CHS was one of the best things that happened to me.
Remember during exam times everyone would be holding a book at the corridor outside the classrooms until the very last minute and the teacher would be yelling at us asking us to come into the exam hall immediately? Even in the canteen some ppl would bring their notes along. Everyone was busy revising, making the most of our last minute memorizing. I KNOW not all CHS students were like that, but still u have to admit the environment there really made u feel like working hard right?

Yeah, somehow this part of me was brought on to college. Actually if u think about it like that, I'm not the strange one, but the rest of the ppl there are.

But I still don't understand why I'm so serious about studies. Why can't I just lighten up and have fun? I can't help it, that's just the way my mind thinks, it's not conscious. It's hard for me to change now, coz I'm already so used to being like that.

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OK.. U know what's funny? Everytime I write a post like this, I ask a lot of questions, but I end up giving all the answers myself. It's like I'm explaining it to myself.

After reading what I just typed, I really think that I think too much and constantly over analyze. I always try to come up with intellectual explanations for the things I do or the way I behave. Actually there is no need to do so. I guess I'm coming up with all these explanations to defend and protect myself, becoz I feel vulnerable and insecure emotionally. Wow, what a conclusion. =P

OK.... I should stop thinking.

Please don't take this post too seriously, becoz I'm definitely not very serious about it. This is just something that I'm considering. U know, to kill time.


But one thing I can say for sure is that I'm slightly crazy. After all, no one is all sane right?